The kiss off

Tonight I am cuddled up with some brownies watching The Sound of Music--which is my go to movie for everything. It's my happy movie, my "world is falling apart" movie, my "there is a storm outside and I want comfort" movie. Tonight, it is my "passing the time until midnight and I can download Les Miserables onto my computer" movie. Because I will be staying up until midnight to do so and if I am not distracted I will start crying the ugly cry!

Maria solves everything. At least temporarily.

I am really struggling tonight. One of my favorite coworkers, the girl I am probably closest to at my job has had a miserable week, her pregnant little sister was badly injured in a hit and run, so we closed up shop for the night so she could be with her sister, which leaves me home alone yet again. I realize my whiny is nothing compared to what AB and her sister and going through, but, it still sucks.

You see, when I heard we were off tonight I was tres excited because I was meant to see a boy, so I anxiously texted to see if we were still on for dinner.  Welp, it's 8PM and I haven't heard back, so, I'm thinking "no". And I also just ate about a pound of cheese, so, there's that too.

This is the thing--the kiss off. All the men I even look at end up doing this. We have a lovely time together, great few dates--or in some cases, months--and then suddenly, they have fallen off the face of the earth. Which brings me to this? Are men really such giant babies these days that they can't just end things like an adult? Yeah, being dumped sucks ass (trust me, I know, happened recently), but, in the end, it hurts way less than the kiss off. The kiss off is just mean.

I got in a fight with my ex once (after we broke up no less!) and asked him if I was getting the standard "his first name and last name kiss off". He's an expert at the kiss off and I suspect may be tutoring all the other men I meet. Seems to be my lot in life lately. Just the girl all men forget. The girl that isn't worthy of a goodbye. The girl who wasn't interesting or pretty enough for an actual relationship. The girl who isn't anything.

So, as I sit here attempting to hold my head up, I will channel my beloved Maria "besides what you see, I have confidence in me!". If I say it enough, will be be true?