Updates!

Sorry I haven't been keeping y'all updated, but, there isn't a whole lot to tell, I haven't been dating lately. I can't bring myself to go through the hurt and the disappointment again.

I just don't feel like My Person is out there, and I don't really see the reason to waste my time with men who aren't My True Love and hurt me anyway, ya know?

Instead, I just pick at wounds that I'm trying to heal, and, it won't end well, I am sure. One minute, I feel like I can handle it, I can be strong and it doesn't impact me any longer. And then BAM! I am suddenly right back where I don't want to be. My stomach is doing somersaults and my face gets flushed and I can't wait to see him again.

It's so dumb. I'm certain that person is My Person, I'm certain we are Perfect For Each Other, but, I have to remember the hurt, the bad things he did, the heartbreak he caused. As human nature, we can dull the pain, forget it--much like childbirth I imagine, and focus on the good. The good times, the laugher, the friendship--we remember that. And in these times, these dark times, I remember that, the joy, the bond we shared, and I cling to it. Hoping it can work. Hoping we can get our act together. Hoping beyond hope.

Not able to put that box away, like I thought I did. Unable to close that door. Unsure if I ever will be able to. Holding the hope that someone will make me forget him, forget us, and finally, finally, close that door.

But, we aren't there yet.

Because, after explosions in West, and tornadoes in Oklahoma, he was the only one to reach out and check on me.

He'd seen the news on the Beeb and was worried about me. Which makes it all the worse.

Thanks, for that one, Mother Nature.....

The door won't close.

It was bound to happen...

When I got my heart broken majorly the last time, I turned to online dating (ugh). It wasn't all horrible. I didn't meet the love of my life, but, I went on some dates and it wasn't horrible.

I did, however, have one awful date. Just awful. There aren't really words, other than "awkward, awful, boring, embarrassing, awful". Luckily, that date has just kind of become a joke between myself and my friends.

Weeeeellllll....

Imagine my surprise when this morning I get a message from said man on said dating site introducing himself and saying we should get together.

UM. WE DID. IT WAS MISERABLE.

Y'all. He FORGOT. Forgot we went out! And in one of the pictures on my profile, I am wearing the dress I wore on our date.

Y'all.

And, before you ask, because you will, yes, it is him. With 100% surety. Screenname is the same, the name is the same--it's him.

Oh, lordy. Was not prepared for that.

In other news, I'm going to the animal shelter next week. Picking up about a dozen cats.